Waltzing on the Danube Read online

  Jeanie groaned and looked around the room, desperate to get her mind off Eleanor. She knew she was putting too much energy into worrying about a casual acquaintance. So what does that mean? She found Eleanor interesting. And smart, and attractive, with an almost regal bearing that made Jeanie's knees go weak. She obviously had a successful career, and money, too, though that fact made Jeanie more nervous than excited. In Jeanie's experience, combining women and money was the fastest route to a broken heart. She'd thought she could manage a quick holiday fling, but if she was already talking to her mom about the future beyond this cruise, there was little chance that would succeed.

  Besides, it didn't matter how long a list she might make of Eleanor's good qualities. The list of negatives would surely be at least as long. They were completely incompatible! That might not matter too much for a few weeks of fun, but it did for anything more serious. For once in her life, Jeanie was determined to be practical. She was finally touring Europe, maybe for the only time ever in her life. She couldn’t let worrying about some non-existent future with a woman she'd just met get in the way of that! Especially a woman who most likely hated her.

  Her eyes landed on the dance schedule that Thomas had delivered to her room the night before. Thanks to Eleanor. She pushed the thought away. Picking up the sheet, she saw that an introduction to swing dancing had just started a few minutes before in the ballroom upstairs. Eleanor had fought for her to gain access to the classes, so she might as well go. She stood and rummaged around for a pair of shoes, then headed out to join the class. In her mind, she could see Eleanor’s face, eyebrows raised in alarm, as if about to lecture her on the fact that she was going to be late. Yes, Eleanor, I know! she grumbled to herself.

  She stopped at the ship’s snack bar to pick up a sandwich on her way. It made her even later to class, but it had to be done. By the time class was over, the snack bar would be closed, and Jeanie hadn’t purchased a meal plan with her ticket. The dining room was expensive and she’d needed to save where she could, so a packaged sandwich and bag of chips would just have to do. It was just as well, since she’d be eating alone, anyway.

  As she approached the glass doors to the ballroom, she heard big band music playing inside and could see couples dancing across the floor. She watched from the sidelines, moving her feet in place as she tried to pick up a few of the steps. When the music stopped, and gray-haired gentleman wearing pinstriped trousers and a matching vest approached her and held out his hand.

  “Would you like to try it?”

  Jeanie smiled and took his hand. “I’d be delighted! But I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  They danced the next song together, with Jeanie quickly picking up the basic moves. By the time it ended, Jeanie was laughing breathlessly.

  “See?” her partner asked. “You did very well!”

  “Only because I had such a good partner,” she said, her cheeks flushing pink.

  At the teacher’s instruction, they traded partners several times until they came to a break. When the music stopped, Jeanie suddenly found herself surrounded by three of her former dance partners. Each held out a paper cup of water for her. Three women, probably their wives, glared in her direction as they filled their own cups with water. Jeanie felt a sinking feeling inside. This is exactly what Mama warned me about! She hadn’t intended to, but she was almost certain she’d been flirting with all three. Their wives certainly seemed to think so.

  Jeanie wondered if she could rectify the situation by calling out, “It’s okay, ladies, I’m a lesbian!” in her loudest voice before the next round of dances. What if one of them yelled back, “Me too!” Jeanie snorted at the thought. Wouldn’t that be convenient? Then she’d have a new tour companion and could put all thoughts of Eleanor right out of her head for good!

  After the last dance ended, Jeanie made a point of approaching the three women who had given her such sour looks during the break. “I just wanted to thank you ladies for sharing your husbands with a beginner like me,” she said with her most sincere smile. “It was so nice to be able to dance. My girlfriend couldn’t make it,” she improvised with a little fib, emphasizing the word 'girlfriend' and wondering if they’d understand the hint. Or were they firmly of the generation where all women were girlfriends, and announcing you were gay just meant you were particularly happy that day?

  The women looked at her with surprise, their formerly frosty expressions warming by several degrees. “Oh, well that’s quite all right, dear,” one of the women said. “Isn’t it nice that a young person like you is interested in these old dances.”

  Jeanie chatted with the ladies on her way to the door, relieved that in this case, she was able to put her natural charm to good use. She’d made enough enemies already for one cruise. As she grabbed up the brown sack that held her dinner, Jeanie caught sight of Eleanor by the door and froze, a cold lump forming in her stomach. Speaking of enemies… She had no idea what to say to her, and rather than making the situation worse, she pivoted and headed to the other exit, praying she hadn’t yet been seen.

  “Planning on a picnic?” Eleanor’s voice sounded over her left shoulder.

  Jeanie turned with a startled jump. “Oh. Eleanor.” Damn.

  Eleanor eyed the bag in Jeanie’s hand. “I noticed you’d brought a lunch to class. I was about to head in for dinner,” she began, her face unreadable. “I thought maybe we’d be at the same table, only I guess you have other plans.”

  “Oh, this.” Jeanie glanced down at the sandwich without enthusiasm. “I’m on an economy ticket. The meals cost extra, so I’m trying to save where I can.”

  “You should join me.” Eleanor’s face took on a startled expression, as if she’d been as surprised by her words as Jeanie was. “That is to say, my suite automatically included meals for two people. It doesn’t make sense for it to just go to waste.”

  Jeanie regarded her with a cautious smile. “You’re sure?” Her smile widened at Eleanor’s nod, relief flooding her as she realized she must have been forgiven for her earlier mistake. “So you aren’t mad at me?”

  “Mad at you?” Eleanor’s brow knitted in confusion. “Why?”

  “Because I threw your book in the river.”

  A burst of laughter erupted from Eleanor’s chest. “I was positive that you were mad at me!”

  This time Jeanie was the one looking confused. “For what?”

  “Running off and leaving you this afternoon. You must’ve thought I was a crazy person!”

  “No!” Jeanie laughed at this unexpected turn of events. “I just assumed you’d had enough of me after that. It’s not like I could blame you. I deserved it.”

  “I was never mad about the book, Jeanie,” Eleanor assured her. “God, you should have seen the look on your face when it flew out of my hands! The shock was priceless. I knew all along that it was an accident.”

  “You did?” Jeanie frowned. “But then, why did you storm off so suddenly?”

  “It’s a long story,” Eleanor said with a sigh. “Probably better to explain over dinner.”

  “Okay.” Jeanie’s forced herself to look away from Eleanor’s warm amber eyes, and reminded herself that this wasn’t a date. It was a friendly dinner. No, it was just pity, really, with no further friendship implied. Eleanor simply had an extra meal ticket and Jeanie was in need of one. It was charity. Usually she would bristle at charity, but as she walked beside Eleanor to the dining room, her pulse ticked up nervously just the same. She told herself she it was just that she was looking forward to a hot meal.

  Once they were seated and the waiter had taken their orders, Eleanor began to explain. “So, earlier today. You know that memorial?”

  “Memorial?” Jeanie’s face wrinkled as she thought. “Oh, you mean that sculpture with the shoes?”

  Eleanor nodded. “See, my family is Jewish and—”

  “Oh, no!” Jeanie’s jaw dropped as the significance hit her, a sudden flash of panic in her eyes. “Don’t tell me. It
’s a Holocaust memorial. Now I feel like an insensitive idiot. I had no idea!”

  “Yeah, if only one of us had had a tour book to provide useful information like that.” Eleanor’s deadpan expression shifted to a grin and Jeanie let out the breath she’d been holding. “Relax, I’m kidding. My sister had mentioned it to me before the trip, so I knew it existed. I just hadn’t planned to nearly trip over it like I did.” Her expression turned pensive. “Did you know, they used to shoot people there, right along that spot, and let the river carry them away. Men, women, even kids. Coming up on that spot without warning caught me off guard. Just the emotion of it, knowing how easily it could've been me.” A tear glistened in Eleanor's eye. “Or us, I guess,” she added as if it had just occurred to her. “People like you and me hardly fared much better back then. But it wasn't a good excuse for running off like I did.”

  “No, Eleanor. I understand.” Jeanie regarded her for a moment, feeling as if she wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure what. Why does being around Eleanor seem to leave me so confused? She opened her mouth to speak. “Wine?” was all she could think to say.

  “What?”

  “I think we need some wine. With dinner.”

  “God, yes.”

  Eleanor motioned to the waiter and Jeanie relaxed into her chair. Finally, I found something we both can agree on. The ice between them thawed, Jeanie once again felt the warmth of the connection between them that seemed to have appeared the moment they met. The longer they talked, the more Jeanie hoped to spend time together. But if meaningless sex was off the table, and a long term relationship impossible, too, it left her wondering: What else can this be?

  Chapter 9

  Jeanie drummed her fingers against the ticket kiosk, waiting. She’d arrived more than twenty minutes before it opened—an eternity!—but it was the only way she knew to get there before Eleanor, who ran a perpetual fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. If she shows up at all. That part had been left vague as they parted after dinner, a casual mention of an excursion the next day, and a tentative agreement that such an idea might hold appeal, but without any firm commitment to a plan. Did a woman like Eleanor do anything without a plan?

  Jeanie flashed back to the night before when, lying on her tiny bed, all she could think of was Eleanor. Not in that way! Okay, maybe a little… But mostly she’d thought about how much nicer the day had been during the parts they’d spent together. It had helped Jeanie make up her mind on one thing. There might not be any romantic potential between them, but the somewhat unconventional friendship they were forming was much preferable to spending two weeks alone. At least, Jeanie thought so. After a pleasant dinner together and more than a few glasses of wine, Eleanor had seemed to come around to a similar way of thinking. The question now was whether she would still feel the same this morning, or if Jeanie would be taking this excursion alone.

  As Jeanie watched the ship’s gangway with an eagle-eye, a lone figure emerged from the ship, one that appeared to be well under the age of sixty and was sporting a new variation of her by-now-familiar travel wardrobe. Definitely Eleanor. Jeanie held her breath to see which way she would turn at the promenade. When she pivoted to face the kiosk and took a step in that direction, Jeanie let out a rush of breath with satisfaction. She’s coming this way! As Eleanor approached, Jeanie faced the shuttered window of the booth and attempted to look nonchalant.

  “Is it open yet?” Eleanor asked as she approached.

  “Oh, hi, Eleanor!” Jeanie feigned surprise. “No, not yet. So, you decided on an excursion today, too?”

  “Well, it sounded nice when you brought it up. Plus, I’m fresh out of tour books to plan anything on my own.”

  Though it was clear she was teasing, Jeanie felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “About that.” She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a brown paper sack. “I stopped in a shop on my way back to the ship yesterday to pick up a new backpack, and while I was there, I spotted this.” She handed the bag to Eleanor, who meticulously peeled away the bag to reveal a thick, glossy tour book inside. Jeanie knew that she could easily afford to get a new one for herself, but that wasn't the point. “They didn’t have the exact same one as yours, but there are some nice maps and it covers most of the cities on the cruise.”

  “Jeanie, you didn’t have to…thank you.” Her face held the same exquisite expression as it had the first afternoon on the observation deck, the one that immediately set Jeanie’s heart thumping. “You know I was only joking with you, though, right? I guess I should look through it and figure out where to go today.”

  “Oh, I’ve done that already!” Jeanie blurted out, suddenly anxious lest Eleanor decide not to spend the day with her after all. “I mean, that is…you know, if you don’t…”

  “You? Planned ahead?” Eleanor asked, rescuing her from an endless loop of spluttering. “This I’ve gotta see. What did you have in mind?”

  “There’s a day trip to the cave baths at Miskolc-Tapolca. I checked the schedule and a bus leaves for there in about twenty minutes. I read all about it last night in the tour book, and it sounded spectacular.”

  “Goodness. Looks like you’ve done all the research for me. Okay. Why not?”

  Jeanie grinned. “Yeah? You’re sure? I mean, if you had other things planned and wanted to do something else…” Shut up, Jeanie! Don’t talk her out of it!

  “I’m sure whatever you chose will be fine. I trust your research. My only real plan was to hide on the ship and read for two weeks, remember?” Eleanor seemed more at ease than on the previous two days, and it made Jeanie smile to see her happy.

  The ticket kiosk opened and Jeanie purchased two tickets to Tapolca, insisting on paying for Eleanor’s fare as a final gesture of her regret over the tour book incident. They climbed aboard the coach and chose two spaces near the back. Jeanie slid in first, trying to ignore the sudden tingling she felt as Eleanor’s thigh pressed against hers in the narrow seats. Stop it, Jeanie! Friends, remember? Jeanie hadn’t forgotten the talk she’d had with her mother. If friends was as far as this could go, she'd need to keep an eye on her more flirtatious tendencies, and the more vivid parts of her imagination firmly in check.

  Besides, the last thing Eleanor wants is a girlfriend. As the bus bumped along on its two-hour trek, Jeanie turned this fact over in her mind, and the more she did so, the more it struck her as odd. Eleanor had shown nothing but disdain for the idea a boat full of lovesick lesbians, but why would someone book a cruise where the sole purpose is to meet single women if they’re hell-bent on being alone? It didn’t make any sense. And yet Eleanor had affirmed again this morning that her initial plan was to sit by herself for two weeks. So why is she here at all? It was another puzzle piece that didn't seem to fit. Finally, the mystery became too much for her.

  “Eleanor, may I ask you something?”

  Eleanor, who had been resting her head against the back of the seat with her eyes closed, opened them slowly, grunting her assent.

  “Why did you come on this cruise? I mean, you don’t care about sightseeing, and you had no interest in any of the singles stuff…”

  Eleanor sat up straighter in her seat and turned to look at Jeanie. “I’d booked a different cruise, for me and my partner. But she’s no longer with me, so—”

  Jeanie gasped in dismay. “Oh, God. She’s dead?” First the Holocaust memorial and now this! How many other tragedies can I put my foot in it?

  Eleanor’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “What? No, she’s not dead. She left me. For a flight attendant. From Paris.”

  “Oh.” Jeanie squirmed in her seat. The way Eleanor used the phrase ‘no longer with me’ just led her to assume the worst. “Oh, my.”

  Eleanor continued to study her quizzically. “She’s thirty-eight, same age as me. Do you know what the odds are of someone dying at that age?”

  “No,” Jeanie mumbled. “Do you?”

  “Of course I do. Or, how to calculate it, anyway. I could probably calculate the odds of
someone cheating, too, if I tried.” Eleanor laughed as Jeanie gave her a befuddled look. “I’m an actuary. It’s a job requirement.”

  “You are?” She only vaguely knew what that meant, except that it was notoriously dull.

  “I am. I'm an expert on risk. Health and life expectancy is just a small part of the industry, though—and I'm afraid no one in their right mind insures against cheating, as they'd lose their shirts. But it’s not like I actually spend my day figuring out when people are likely to die, if that’s what you were picturing. I work for a global insurance and risk management firm. We assess corporate risk.”

  “That sounds important.” No wonder the woman was always so put-together, with a job like that. “And you’re in Manhattan?”

  Eleanor nodded. “But I work with offices in Budapest, Vienna, Amsterdam, Prague…all over Europe, really.”

  “Oh, how exciting!” Jeanie's enthusiasm was sincere. “Don’t you ever just want to pack up and come work here?”

  “Here?” Eleanor gave her a look as if she’d just suggested running off to join the circus. “Not really, though it's not for lack of offers. Several of my clients would offer me a position in a heartbeat, if they thought I'd take it. But I grew up in the city. Plus I work for a solid, reliable company.” She thought a moment and shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind being Head of Risk Management, someday, and the bastard who's in the position now is likely to be there until he dies. Which I've calculated to be another twenty to thirty years, unfortunately. But all things considered, it’s much more secure to stay where I am.”

  Jeanie nodded her head, but in truth she was unable to comprehend how someone could have the chance to live and work abroad and not take it. There was no polite way to point it out, so she changed the subject. “But you never really explained how you ended up on this cruise. It’s pretty obvious you didn’t come here to meet someone.”